I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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