Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
