Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
