i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize