Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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