Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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