absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
