I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
