Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
