Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
