I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
