so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
