I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize