I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
