The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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