Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
