I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
