Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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