Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
