Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize