id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
