their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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