Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
