You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize