She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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