so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize
