so explain again why im purple
no
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize