did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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