Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
