I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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