go do what you do best...puke behind churches
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
