I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
