so explain again why im purple
no
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
