12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
