Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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