He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
