I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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