where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I have peed in a lot of sinks
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
