Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
