How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
