is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
