I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
