He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just pee around me
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize