dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
