I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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