i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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