is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
