Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
