we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
