well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just high enough for therapy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
