I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
