I cannot find my penis.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize