remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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