i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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