WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
