Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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