addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
