K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
