I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A bitchslap is in order.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
