I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
