i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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