either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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