So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
