ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
