I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
