That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I AM VODKA MAN
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Who died my cat blue again?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize