when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
