I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
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