Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
