if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
