at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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