I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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