And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boobs speak an international language.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
