you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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