don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
