Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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