I'm going to jail i love you
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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