No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize