there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
